I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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