hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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