you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
