It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
