yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this boner is exhausting
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
