see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
