i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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