she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
