Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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