last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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