NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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