i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
