I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
