Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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