i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
