Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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