...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
