guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
