JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
