we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need water and some morals
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
