I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
