New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
