In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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