just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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