No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
