Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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