sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
