so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
