i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
