i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
