A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
