So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
