why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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