keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize