Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
