that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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