I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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