My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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