If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize