whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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