hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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