my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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