My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I understand Curling. That high.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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