That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize