so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
