Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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