Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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