I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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