i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
