I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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