sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
