Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize