I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
