Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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