Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
