Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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