come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
