awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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