I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
